The Scar.

Pinkish wounds on her body,

3 years on

have still not healed.

Tomorrow Evil comes,

and tears the skin apart.

She screams to stop,

but evil keeps going on.

Sadistic him, he enjoys the sight

of her crying, fighting back.

Memories haunt her;

Of her children running around helpless,

Of her brave ones falling down one by one,

Of her scared ones shivering at the sight they see.

Of Evil's minions walking with glee,

killing her kids in a spree,

taking over her with such ease,

Helpless, she goes numb...

3 years on,

she remembers it all,

hasn't forgotten any of the wrongs.

She mourns for her babies who died for her.

She makes up her mind,

wipes away her tears,

unsheathes her sword,

and strikes it in his heart.

Evil falls down.

Revenge achieved.

But her heart's still weeping.....

Confronting fears, happiness, puppies etc...

     This morning I said to myself "I would have a happy day".. Nothing happened in the afternoon. But if I count the 2 Vampire Diaries Episodes that I watched, yeah, it was fun. Did nothing out of schedule like all past days of this week.
     In the evening, I went down for a walk taking my ear-phones with me at around 8:30.. I took one round around the building and the familiar sense of something being there in the dark lawn scared me. (I watch and read alot of fiction which adds to my already over-imaginative mind, which in turn cooks up even more fictitious stories). So lately its Vampire Diaries which I 've been following intently. It has all the suspense and thrills- with the sudden dha-dham music booming in your ears through your ear-phones when Damon Salvatore jumps down on unsuspecting, pretty girls!- and then they show his full face on screen (again with dha-dham music making u jump in your seat) eyes red, with his face going black, blood of stupid girls on his mouth.. yeah all of that! So I'm walking, with music in my ears (Linkin Park :) ) and I hear scurrying or something in garden. (even with loud music in my ears) and I run away from there. Next round I again come back to the place, walking warily, looking in the garden hoping I don't see some person in white or black (Though it would be interesting if someone in bright orange was there under the dead Mango tree.. Nah it would still scare the hell out of me!). The third round I decide to go in. (Risky.. ooooohhh!). So I go in and sit on this bench and comfort myself saying "Be Strong. Fight your fear" I close my eyes as even more challenge (because closing eyes will create images of Ghosts, or Vampires. Its not that I wouldn't love to see Ian Somerhalder aka Damon.. But not in such a dark place.). I open my eyes and after a while I'm at ease. Sitting comfortably. Then I put even more difficult task ahead of me- to walk in the garden itself, bare feet! (And let me tell you the left side of the garden from where i sat, there's dense grass there, so more the spook (if there is such a word as spook. I think there is .....)) Anyway I'm trying to get up, but can't. But then the song 'The Messenger' which I'm listening comes to the line 'your instincts telling you to run.. Listen to your heart..' which is when i stand up quick.. I walk, slowly towards the left, very cautious, stopping after every small step thinking something moved (and my mind at that moment gives me knowledge of creatures like snakes, frogs, poisonous things living in grass) But I walk. Then I see a grass hopper and shriek and turn around and walk fast to the other side.. This side has sparse grass so no problem. By now I have some confidence and I go back to the left side again.. At last I reach the end, and I touch the last bench with my foot. i'm happy by this time. I know its a Nothing. Nothing worth feeling proud of. But its a huge thing for me, to take one step to conquering my fear of the dark, the unknown. I was so happy that I laughed out loud. And smiled. My smile must've crossed the boundaries of eyes too.. I was proud of myself.
*****
Another thing I did was to take the decision that I'll take up Psychology next year. I was in this dilemma of choosing Psycho or English Literature. Psychology it is. Coz it will take me beyond national boundaries, help me (mostly) realize my many many dreams (including of meeting my soul-mate. I know its too much romantic fiction :D ).
Psychology it is. Now I have to study too much for the next sem. coz the first one was horrible. Tough job ahead. I hope I don't quit. Or change my mind.
*****
I went ahead and brought a small Parle-G pack for the two puppies in my building. On the way back I saw a one stray searching for food. Lucky boy got 2 biscuits  :).Now the puppies back home were so happy, and so hungry too... the gobbled up the biscuits so fast.. and then they were all over me, jumping. Fighting the other when it got a pet from me.. Cute things. I don't know why but there's something about dogs. They make you feel good about yourself. Like You are something in this world. And they have such beautiful eyes.
I had to scold them to let me go. :)
*****
Its wonderful how God made this world. I mean so ingenious of putting water in a hard coconut. Who would've thought that? Not me!
That makes you Awesome! Love you!
*****
So what I learned today?
1. Take Risks, small, one step at a time. It'll help you grow, banish your fear, make you feel good about yourself.
2. Think about the other being on this earth.
3. Take time and appreciate the natural things. Even if they are normal in your life.
*****
I should stop believing that wishing my happiness will bring bad consequences. I deserve to be happy. I do! I do! I do!
*****
Well that's it. I know I've written after a long time. This lengthy thing makes up for it I guess.
And Thanks to an FB frnd who read my blog, said he got inspired to make up his own! Awesome. And thank you for reminding me unconsciously that I have a blog which I should update! :)

Cheers!
Live and Let Live! 

Me.

I am not drop dead gorgeous
But I don't crack a mirror.
I am practical, and reason every damn thing
But then I also have mindless, teenage dreams.
I can be the nastiest critic.
But I have the ability to motivate even a stranger.
I can be the strongest microscope and find the minutest fault in me,
but when it comes to others, I need a pair of eyes which can see.
Its hard for me to hate people,
even after they've hurt me,
I just can't.
But yeah, nasty thoughts of getting revenge do come naturally. :D

I love myself too much, but then I even hate myself to the core.
I fight, get angry and swear to not melt and give in.
But by morning, I'm as if it never happened.
Which is really irritating, as I should stay my stand..
I consider myself average in everything,
which I am.
I am one confused soul!
I think I might win every prize out there in being confused. Or maybe not :-\
I want to fall in Love, hopelessly, and have that silly feeling.
But then my mind backtracks and gives me quesy thoughts about commitment.
And I feel happy being single and not being loyal.
And yeah. I always refer to my mind as an individual person.

I am not at all patient.
Even a minute seems like eternity to me.
I really don't understand why and how can anyone love me!
Seriously dude, look at me!
When I'm happy I dance as if in a Ganpati Visarjan,
When I sing, I imagine myself on stage with LP (much to the irritation of my Mummy)
I get such joy when a thought in my head makes a rhyme,
It motivates me to get my diary and pen and write,
which happened even this time.

Concisely,
I am not the person I was,
and not the person I am going to be.

But right now,
I am just me.
And I have no idea what that means..

Iridescent Music Video Review

Linkin Park- Iridescent




Linkin Park
Linkin Park's single 'Iridescent' featured on Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
Album: A Thousand Suns


     Its Linkin Park guys. Words aren't enough to write of their might in making music and awesome videos to accompany them. Hell! They might even make their own Transformers movie which will surely go a hit.
     Awesome video as always! The diamond geometric pattern used in earlier videos, Burning in the Skies and Waiting for the End, of A Thousand Suns Album can be seen here too. Its kind of like a trademark for this album. A treat for Transformers fans, by appearance by The Optimus Prime (01:13) and Bumblebee (01:26) and some other guy whom I don't knw.
     Humans, characterised by LP members, have turned into Androids. (Clever! Esp as this is Transformers 3 official song) So we see Mike, Chester nd the rest with shiny eyes (not like Vampires please!). Robotic eyes and mannerisms. At the start it is also shown that Humans have been blinded of their senses, a hand coming to catch them, as if all of us have been robbed of our human-ness, forced to follow the Authority. Another very interesting  thing is the portrayal of 'The Last Supper' in this video.
     We get to see a bit of inner mechanisms of a Cybertronian warrior through the eyes (at this part a Transformers fan would go "woah man!"), and Transformers coming out of land which I guess is Moon!

Best Moments:
 01:13- Optimus Prime!!
 01:25- the LP cast in The Last Supper setting
 02:40- the music picks up pace and grabs attention from here
 02:58- a crash on your senses! Typical, awesome LP music here! The drums coming down
                                  hugely accompanied by the Guitar!

Pure Awesomeness!!

LP rocks!

Transformers releasing on 1st July, 2011 in India!
Watch it!
                                                                          
                       

A peek in my head.....

As i sat in the share Auto towards station today,

my mind started its wander,

which is ,,ganz normal''

as a Deutsch would say.

I thought about the gloomy cloudy weather

in the middle of May,

the increase in the petrol prices,

which is not here to stay,

as it'll increase even more any day.

I also wondered that there are so many synonyms for 

'to think' in Deutsch.

Ic finde, ich glaube, ich denke, ich meine..

they would say.

My over-imaginative-darling-of-a-mind

then thinks of the Inflation.

How for todays Rs.5 share Auto,

tomorrow Rs.20 i'll pay!

"Aye mai/ didi dus rupayee de na.."

will the poor lad in the train say!

"Darling, you think too much!"

I think myself say.

I also think its getting an overdose

of rhymes ending with -ay.

I spare you folks the rhymes! 

Go get lost!

Do I hear you'll scream Hurray?

And then my mind freezes to a stop

as a cutie passes by.

And my mind goes "Hey..."

Suddenly.....

Suddenly, life doesn't seem so bad at all,

After the terrible storm came the sun so warm,

I'm soaked in it..

Ahh! it feels so calm..

It feels so nice,

to wake up to a new morning now,

And I did hear the sparrow chirp at 5 o'clock.

I got up and kneeled beside the window,

and rested my head on my palm,

I smiled- I don't know why or how?

I just smiled and then I laughed

coz there was no reason to smile at all..

And then i laughed some more..

coz for long I hadn't laughed at all..

The morning was cold with that slight streak of sun,

A perfect blend of both,

which made me go "wow!"

I raised my hands and touched nothing,

And then I touched my face..

I'm alive!

I seem to forget that.

Inside me is a heart beating, a brain thinking,

A life living...

And suddenly,

I feel like celebrating...!! :) 

Mobiles!

     In the era of social networking humans have lost their ability to communicate live. It is a growing concern that we cannot easily strike a conversation with the person sitting next to us in public transport, or in a new college. People are always immersed in their mobiles which, today, give the opportunity to have Internet on the go which 'has brought the world closer' (i know!) but it hinders the natural process a person makes friends....
     It is tough today to gauge what a person is thinking just coz of that small communication cum gaming cum camera cum app supporting cum complete attention attracting device in his or her hand! "Is he/shy?", "Is he/she not interested in me?", "Is he/she snobbish?", "What is he/she thinking?"and "I'm gonna stamp his mobile to pieces!" People get engaged on their phones when they are travelling than do things like smile at the person sitting next to you in train (pretty tough na!), or ponder over things, read a book. (Oh! they can do that on their "book reader app"!) But the feel of a book in your hand ahh.. nothing can beat that! It sucks to read an ebook. You don't get the fun and comfort which you get from a real book.
     Facebook. The online portal where you can make "Friends"! It is a like a wow status if you have a long friend list. It doesn't matter if you ever talk to some (read many) of them.. Quantity matters not quality. And according to my personal experience, the friends you actually make on facebook are not true. There's no caring, understanding, support that you get from them. But this is not the same for all coz one of my friends (real friend) found her best friend online..
*****
Summing up, just talk to people, it might just make their day to know that they have someone who cares...