Being a woman

As a woman of this world,
I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders.

I have to be pretty all the while
But dress appropriately so as not be the object of everyone's eyes

I have to be mature, take my own decisions
But stay in my limits,
Coz duh! Girls have limited brain function

I have to take it as a compliment when people say "wow you can drive"
Coz for us right is left
And patriarchy is right.

I must have long hair
Can't cut them short.
Coz lambe baal is positively correlated to the amount of sanskaar

I have to go gaga at every baby i see;
even though they are wailing and disturbing my sleep;
Coz i hold baby making apparatus in me

When i'm angry, or sad it's always because of the unfertilised egg leaving me
Not because the external circumstances like a guy being a douche to me

I have to sit with my legs crossed, or close together
Coz keeping them wide open is code for "come at me"

And finally,
I have to analyse all the things that go wrong with me
Cross-examine myself
Coz it's all because of me
Because i'm a woman